“Ding Dong! Ding Dong!!” Favour flew from the sitting room couch towards the door with record speed. She’d been at the edge of her seat all day waiting for him. Finally! She thought to herself as she hurried to open the door; breathless, a wide smile plastered on her face. She took one last glance at herself in the mirrors adjacent to the door as the bell went off again. “Ding Dong!”
“Coming baby! Just a minute!” Favour replied as she smoothened her denim skirt and smeared on pink lip gloss.
“Good aptanoon small madam, sanu” Ali, the gateman, greeted her.
Favour’s smile morphed into a look of utter disappointment, and disdain. The gateman smelled like he hadn’t had a bath in days.
“Yes? What is it?” Favor replied, in a hurry to discharge Ali and continue with her preparations for the coming of her August visitor.
“Ehn madam!” replied Ali, scratching his head; his struggle to form his reply evident in his sheepish expression. He had only just moved to Lagos from the North of Nigeria and he knew only a few English words. Still he managed to get by.
He continued. “E getti e za dustvin fefo e dey fine you po outside fa.” (“The trash collectors are asking for payment”).
Favour, after having managed to deduce what he meant, reached into her pocked and brought out some naira bills.
“Alright err, take, count it. How much be that?”
“Guda, ukwu, bukwai…madam na handred naira”.
“ Give them that. Tell them daddy will pay the monthly bill at the bank today but that they should carry the one of today with this.”
Ali’s was the face of concentration as Favour spoke. He paid close attention to every word as though if he blinked or turned his head the words would fly past his head.
“ And if they need more money, ” Favour continued,” please settle it with your money, Mommy will give it back to you”. Favor instructed him.
“No wahala madam”, Ali replied, smiling, and nodding like an Agama lizard. ” No frable, bakwomi.”
He thanked her and hurried to do her bidding.
Favour returned to the living room to continue her preparation for her boyfriend’s arrival. She had turned off all the lights and drawn the curtains close. The rays from the TV beamed from its mounted spot towards the green leather couch opposite it. On the screen of the was a man having a heart to heart with his lover while lying on a hospital bed. The man seemed about to breathe his last.
The television mounted on the wall was a curved Hisense O-LED TV, one of the modern day types that might someday take over the world with their artificial intelligence. Beneath the TV stood a rectangular mahogany cabinet with different compartments housing the DSTV explorer decoder and the Home Theatre system. Below this was a drawer which saved the house from being littered with blu-Ray discs. The speakers of the home theatre stood like sentinels guarding treasure, one at each corner of the sitting room and the subwoofer positioned at the center.
The speakers sang “How many drinks would it take you to leave with me?
Yeah you look good, and I got money
But I don’t wanna waste my time.. ”
It was a Miguel classic. The TV didn’t speak however, there was no need for her to.
Just as she went in to bear her face into beauty, the sky’s belly rumbled loud and fierce. Favour looked through her curtain and saw that day had suddenly become night, the clouds had come together as though a conference and at that moment they began to spill their water on the earth.
“Ding Dong!” Went the bell again. “Ding Dong!Ding Dong Ding Dong!” It continued angrily.
“Oh my goodness! who wants to spoil my father’s bell. Why’s it today that Ali chose to disturb-”
“Hey baby!” Tega’s voice interrupted Favour’s tirade. She opened the door and there stood Tega, utterly drenched.
“Did the rain touch you?” Favor asks rather redundantly, touching him all over.
“No o I kept dodging the rain till I started sweating” he replies with his eyes rolling and a grin on his face.
“Go away jor. How are you?” She holds him by the waist, kissing him drags she him inside.
“Well…now I feel warmed up” he replies with a smile after they had disentangled their lips.
“Ooouu How many drinks? Kendrick and Miguel.” Tega grabs her again by the waist and they start to dance.
“Noooo It’s Miguel featuring Kendrick” she corrects him.
“What’s the difference now this girl?”
She twirls and he grabs her from behind. In the middle of their dance he leaves her and a look of worry is cast on his face.
“What is the problem?” Favor looks into his eyes.
“You know your brother could walk in through that door right?” He says with a serious look.
“He won’t. At least not soon, he’s with one of his girlfriends in her house and he won’t be home soon cos he’ll go and see his lecturer’s daughter from there. ”
She moves close to him and grabs him by the waist once again. Just then the clouds rumble and the lightening is like the flash of cameras.
He kisses her forehead and they sit down on the couch watching the soundless TV.
“What is it again now? ” Favour asks, almost petulantly.
“Would you ever let me go? Would this ever come to an end?” He asks, holding her hands in his own.
“Does the sea ever run dry?” Favor asks him
“No it doesn’t” Tega replies
“Then our love like the sea shall never end and will forever be renewed like the rains replenish the sea even when it’s not empty. ” She assures him and gives him a kiss.
Then she gets up and goes into her room. She comes out moments later wearing blue lace lingerie. As soon Tega sees her the corner of his fly begins to move awkwardly.
“Come, follow me” she calls him into her bedroom. Scented candles stood on each side of the entrance, their light bathing the room in a soft glow. Rose petals lay strewn on the floor. And a packet of condoms lay in the center of the rose coloured bed.
“Take my virginity away, I give it to you today” Favour begged Tega, pulling on his shirt.
They begin to kiss, he pulls off her lingerie and beneath it are her breasts and her nipples hard as boiled eggs. On her waist she has a pair of red lace G-strings on, Tega takes it off and begins to suck on Favors breasts, she gives a little moan. He takes his shirt off and Favor rubs his chest, she removes his trousers and boxers and begins to play with his penis. He begins to kiss her again and puts one hand on her nipples.
In the background Bruno Mars piped “so let’s just turn down the lights and close the door, ooouu I leave that dress but you won’t need it anymore, no you won’t need it no more. Let’s just kiss till we’re naked then versace on the floor. ”
Tega tears open the condom and at first penetration she winces in pain. Tega leans over her body and gives her a kiss. And begins to make love to her. There’s both a moan of pleasure and pain from Favour.
“Favour! Why’d you leave the door open?! I keep telling you to lock whenever we’re out cos of security reasons!”
“Oh my God! Tega someone is home!” Favour’s heart began to race, she couldn’t tell if it was her brother or someone else.
“Anyways”, the owner of the voice went on. “If they kidnap you, we’ll not even look for you. Elizabeth says hi sha, where are you sef? Favor!”
“Jesus! My brother! If he finds us here, it’ll be the story of OJ Simpson in 2019”.
“Sam! I’m in my room jor.” she replied amidst the fear in her mind hoping he wouldn’t come to her room. She began to sweat and it wasn’t from their activity of pleasure but fear.
“Yo!” He barged into her room enthusiastically like he had just found his manhood that was taken from him by a ritualist.
“Ahan! Is that how you barge into someone’s room? What if I were naked or having sex?”
She tried to hold a conversation with to mask her fear.
“I washed your nyash as a baby and you wouldn’t dare have sex in this house. I’ll shoot both you and the guy.”
Tega who is now lying flat in the bathtub covered by the shower curtains and was butt naked heard the threat and his heart skips a beat. “Ahan whose shoes are these? They are nice o” her brother sees Tega’s shoes and admires them. “A friend of mine said I should give her brother” the lie was prepared for by Favor but is believed by her brother.
“Ahan! Why’s there blood on your? Anyways, Elizabeth and I had sex. It was great man, she put me on cloud 9” her brother begins to narrate his after to his sister but her mind isn’t in it but the blood he had just seen on her blue bed sheet on her bed. “Fuck! What do I tell him now” she begins to get sweaty palms and panics “ I saw my period. So you can have sex but I can’t abi?” Favor asks in bewilderment.
“ You can, I did say you can’t. But you won’t live to know what’ll happen to you and the guy. Daddy told me your story sef. If I catch that boy ehn, I’ll use his penis to do suya.” He tells her. Tega in the bathtub with an erected penis hears this and takes a look at his baby making machine. “And I had a bad feeling about this” he thinks to himself.
“ I’m going to your bathroom” her brother says and makes for the bathroom. “Ehn! Why? You have your own bathroom” Favor runs to the door of the bathroom and blocks the door. “Ogbeni go away jor. You think I don’t know where you are hiding him?” Her brother shoves her aside and heads for the bathroom and heads towards the bathtub, bends down and picks up Max their dog. “How’d that get in here? Oh I brought him here, silly dog” Favor shows perplexity at first but decides to lie. “ stop this trick it’s getting old you’re terrible at hiding things”
Meanwhile as her brother got close to the bathtub, Tega in fear had pissed in the tub. “Anyway, I’ll get out of your room abeg, it’s smelling like dick and pussy sef”
“Ehn go away from my smelling room” Favor ushers him out and heads to the bathtub to bring Tega out. “Get dressed real quick abeg I don’t want to enter trouble” she hands him shirt and trousers, he puts in on and heads out into the room as he wears his shoes the door handle begins to move down slowly “Favor!” And it opens slightly but is closed immediately. Her brother had wanted to show her something but went to the kitchen to check his burning water. He had put water on fire to boil spaghetti and forgotten so his pot began to boil nothing.
“Quick! Pass the front door he’s in the kitchen, I’ll stall him” Favor heads to the kitchen and engages her brother. Meanwhile Tega had made his way to the gate and gone out with a trouser in hand and half worn shoes.
“Favor! Whose belt is this on the floor” her brother discovers Tega’s belt on the floor, “on the side it says Tega” he calls out to her.
*sanu :Hausa greeting